Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Talking Bollocks - Grow a Pair: Advice from the Associate Dean for Research

Maybe it's because she has four sons, but to talk a chauvinist talk - as a woman to another woman who works to advantage the role of women in her chosen and allied fields is rather distatsteful.  Such advice is par for the course in an institution whose crass managerialist culture is evidenced by systemic and endemic bullying.  'Grow a pair' - where on earth did the poor cow divine that she had the right to say this to another colleague?

A colleague of hers told me that she is probably the only person in such a position in a UK university - Associate Dean of Research and Enterprise who doesn't have a research degree.  Well look at this.  Her line manager is said to have been educated at, among other institutions, The University of Bath.  When he arrived at Wretchington he was enrolled as a PhD student, it seems, at Bath.  Innovation and Change, his field of expertise. He is still registered for his degree it seems, or at least I cannot find evidence that it has  yet been submitted.  The chief executive doesn't have one a research degree either.  I once heard the Associate Dean's line manager being referred to as 'being in the waiting room' - for departure from the institution. But he's still there - four years later. That's what Wretchington's culture does - it sees generally poor chief executives surround themselves with characters weaker than themselves who then form a coterie of mutual self-interest and protection - and bugger the ambitions of the rest of the members of institution.  I once heard the arse in question give a verbal report wherein he used the term 'shovel ready' - referring to a site which was to be developed. The only shovelling I witnessed him doing was spreading shit far and wide around his dominion, even sending in a sewage tanker to clean out the substructure of the School of Applied Sciences the day its Dean was promoted to the role of the institution's Dean Of Research.  I am not sure where the waste was deposited but you can bet your life it landed on another manager's desk.

And so to Growing a Pair: The Chief Executive is a weak man, with power.  He is an operator.  He has all the charm and much of the appearance of a bottle of Harpic.  Someone who knows how to drive the best of his staff clean around the bend. He is not to be trusted.  At 'Open Meetings' he talks his talk, takes questions from people he knows by name - often members of the executive.  He has been observed for years wandering around the front of the room planting his bollocks on the corners of tables and desks.  It is truly remarkable how many colleagues have commented on this. The testosterone infused furniture around the institution has imparted some of its essence to other institution members who then 'talk bollocks', such as 'growing a pair'.  It looks as if the institution is on the threshold of pioneering  Applied Bollockology as an academic discipline along with its shit shovelling managerialism.

Note: all the characters in this blog are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living, dead or almost dead, is unintentional.


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